This and that

Momma is tired today. I don’t even know why I’m attempting to write something coherent. I have yawned so many times today that my eyes won’t stop watering. I am sans mascara. Not a pretty sight for my coworkers. Alright. Getting off the whiny train now.

We’ve had a good/exhausting couple of weeks – Springfield the weekend of the 16th and KC the weekend of 23rd for Jeff’s birthday. Springfield was the typical whirlwind. We did a redo of the “Thanksgiving” family pic so we could include a real live version of brother.

Fake Lance

Real Lance

Then off to KC for Jeff’s birthday and for Cal to meet the entire KC crew. We love our KC “family”, we really really do. I would not have been sad at all to live there for a few years before firmly planting ourselves in St Louis. But Thomas Food Marketing duty called and here we are. We got to meet Madison, my cousin Sean’s baby who was born in October. She is such a sweet little peanut and Cal was completely enthralled with her. I think her petite, pink cuteness confused him. He is completely surrounded by boys at all times – his cousins, babysitter buds, non babysitter buds.

  
Momma, Cal, Laura, Sweet Madison

Cousins

"What is this creature dressed in pink?"

Our gracious hosts, Jeff and Kristin, threw a Mexican fiesta on Saturday night. Enchiladas, tacos and guacamole. Delicious. For the grand finale, I secrectly had a birthday cake made with the help of my cohorts, J & K. We brought it out in flames and sang “Happy Birthday” chain-restaurant style (i.e. loud, obnoxious, with lots of clapping). Jeff was equal parts embarrassed and pleased. The ringing in of his 31st year was happy indeed.

Mix Master Jeff

Surprise!!!

Little man also rang in his 7 month. Instead of having his picture taken in a hospital bed, he was rocking out in the sweet chair that Gigi gave him. Oh and his funny little cough that he had over the weekend was actually RSV. He is still bouncing off the walls with energy and eating like a piglet. We decided to keep him out of Momo’s the rest of the week since she keeps another little guy a couple of months younger than Cal. We are all for teaching the importance of sharing, just not germs.

Happy 7 months, little fella

Dr. Z's office has lots of fun toys

Mommy and Cal

Homeward Bound

We are loading up the family VW and heading southwest! This will be our first road trip since The Great Sickness of 2009. I gave Momo clear instructions to wear Cal out today so he will be a good little traveler for the 3 hour trip. The objective is minimal crying. Happy Cal = Happy Mel.  Now if I could only think of a good way to wear Annie out. We used to take her to doggie day care (yes, we are those people) and she loved it but she came down with kennel cough twice despite being current on her shots. You haven't lived until you have listened to a dog cough for days on end. Ugh.

There are a lot of people on the agenda to see and I'm pretty sure it will be impossible to squeeze them all in a 48 period while trying to maintain some sort of schedule for Cal. This is when my guilt sets in, actually a whole range of emotions - excited to see everybody, guilt for not spending enough time with said people, happiness when I do see them, exhaustion/irritation for feeling spread too thin and then sadness for leaving. This cycle happens every. single. trip. home. At least I cut the hysterical/weepy part out of the cycle when we are leaving. I never, ever thought I would get used to calling St Louis home. It changed when I had Cal. Where he is at, Jeff and I are home.

Cal's story pt 2

That first night in the hospital is kind of fuzzy. I sent Jeff home. His sleeping is fitful enough and I knew that there would be many interruptions. The peds unit at St John's is very new and very nice. If we were going to be stuck anywhere for an extended amount of time, this was the place to be. All of the furniture was soft and comfy, the nurses were so accommodating and sweet. They kept Cal doped up all night in an effort to keep his fever down but he still woke very early. I held him and we rocked and rocked until Jeff arrived around 9am. He seemed to be doing a little better so I left to go sleep at home for a few hours. While I was gone, the doctors ordered a renal ultrasound and discovered inflammation in both kidneys and a highly muscular bladder (our bladders are supposed to be round and smooth. Cal's looked like the shape of a Christmas tree, 'tis the season).

It was decided then that a permanent catheter needed to be inserted since the bladder and kidneys weren't draining properly. I could see the hesitation on several nurses faces over the next few days when they discovered that they were assigned to an infant patient with a catheter. Apparently, caths in babies are pretty uncommon. The catheter turned Cal into a happy kid though (AFTER it was inserted, of course). His bladder was so full and he finally had relief. He wanted to eat and play for the first time in 48 hours. His fever was still present and we learned why on Tuesday the 15th. His infection had spread so rapidly from his bladder to his kidneys, he became septic. This was a word that I was familiar with from all of my years of watching ER but I never really knew the seriousness of it. And to be perfectly honest, I sort of blocked it out despite the fact that Dr. Z had told me that if we would have waited to take him back to the doctor instead of going to the hospital, there would have been a tragic ending. The longer sepsis goes untreated, it essentially starts attacking the major organs and they will eventually shut down. Hours can literally mean the difference between life and death. I get a stomach ache every time I think about that.

By Wednesday, his fever had broken and we had somewhat of a plan of attack. The pediatric infectious disease doctor had visited with us and decided that Cal needed to be on IV antibiotics for three weeks AFTER his blood showed up clean. This was to ensure that the bacterium was completely eradicated from his blood. The IV in his hand would be too unsafe when we were finally released home so we would have a PICC line placed in his upper left arm, again, after the bacteria was no longer present in his blood.

At this point, we were waiting on the bacteria issue but we did have a diagnosis of his kidneys and bladder. Dr Z suspected that Cal was born with something called Posterior Urethral Valves (later confirmed), which basically causes urine to reflux back up into his bladder and kidneys. This is something that could have been detected when I was pregnant in my ultrasounds but unfortunately it wasn't. We were put in touch with an outstanding pediatric urologist at Children's Hospital, Dr. C, but were warned that we would be in the hospital until surgery could be performed and due to the holidays, we probably wouldn't get on the surgery schedule until after Christmas. No biggie. We just went out and bought an awesome fiber optic tree, brought his stocking to his room and counted down the days until Christmas! Those of you who read the last entry know that we lucked out and were put on the surgery schedule Christmas Eve!

On Monday, Dec 21st we learned that Cal's blood had been clean since the 17th, so off to surgery he went to get the PICC line placed. It was scary knowing that he had to go under but since babies are so wiggly, they have no other choice. He did wonderfully and finally had use of his left hand again. The doctors and nurses in the OR loved him because he apparently was smiling at them until he drifted off. Then on Wednesday, Dec 23rd we packed up our room at St John's and took an ambulance ride to Children's. It was kind of bittersweet to leave St John's because we had gotten to know several of the nurses really well. We had taken countless walks around the ward in his wagon (with the urine bag attached to our pockets), had so many visitors that his room looked like a toy store, and had his first visit from Santa. He took his first bites of food in that room and turned 6 months old on the 20th. Don't get me wrong - we wanted out of there. But we had also grown comfortable in our new routine.

Children's was another story. This hospital is known nationwide for its amazing pediatric care but it was like night and day compared to St Johns. It was chaotic and in your face. Far too much going on for our taste. Thank goodness that he only had one night there. Bright and early on Christmas Eve morning, we got a call that we had been bumped up the schedule and he would go in by 9am. We met with Dr C, the surgeon, and the anesthesiologist. Then we waited. For a whole 45 minutes and it was over! Again, Cal did great. It took them longer to sedate him than the actual procedure. After he woke up in recovery, we all took a nap in his room waiting to be discharged. While we were sleeping, "Santa" unloaded a ton of gifts for Cal. We felt sort of guilty for getting those since so many other kids actually had to stay through the holidays and we were literally counting the minutes until we could leave. All Cal had left to do was pee and we were out of there. Jeff and I kept undoing his diaper every 5 minutes. When he finally did the deed, adios!!!!

We got home and took a 3 hour family nap. It was the best nap ever. I felt like I needed to keep pinching myself. Our ordeal wasn't completely over as we still had to meet with a home health nurse that evening to teach me how to administer the IV antibiotics through his PICC at home for the next 2 weeks. It was a little tricky the first few times (a 32 minute process from beginning to end) but then after a few treatments, it was no big deal. The PICC was taken out last Friday, Jan 8th and he started an oral antibiotic that evening that he will have to continue for a year to keep future UTIs at bay until he outgrows the residual reflux issues. The new antibiotic tastes like grape. He likes it.

So that's that. Our ordeal that we will never forget and he'll never remember. We were on prayer lists in Brooklyn, LA, Orlando, San Antonio, the list goes on and on. We discovered so many things about ourselves, or family and our friends that are invaluable. The moral of the story is Cal has hit his hospital quota for his childhood, maybe until he's about 65. He's allowed to do crazy little boy things like get stitches and break bones. But no more near fatal illness.

Sleepy mom and babe. Cal screamed when he woke up and saw how scary mommy looked.

I'm 6 months old!!

Get that camera outta my face.

First solid food. Noticed the styrofoam cup/bowl. Nice.

First Santa experience

Wagon ride with Aunt Lisa

Taking his peeps for a spin around the hospital.

First treatment at home on Christmas morning

Where to start...

I've started this blog in my head dozens of times over the past 2 weeks but then got too tired to type. Our baby got sick, so sick in the early morning hours of December 13th. Cal woke us at 4:30am on Sunday morning crying. Jeff and I had been at a wedding the night before and had only been in bed for a few hours. I remember being a little bit annoyed when I saw the lights flash on his monitor, lying in bed, waiting for the crying to subside. But it didn't. It got louder. I went into check on him and he was curled up in a ball at the edge of his crib. I fished for his pacifier in the dark and patted him on the back to calm him. He was so warm. We rocked for a few minutes before I laid him down on his changing table to take his temperature. This only caused him to writhe in pain and then he began to gag. Jeff was at my side at this point and we sat him up, upon which he proceeded to vomit on Jeff's arm. I assumed the stomach flu had finally hit our home so I gave him infant Tylenol to lower his 102 temp, laid a towel in between Jeff and I in the bed and patted Cal back to sleep.

By 8:30am, we were all awake and Cal would not stop whimpering. He did take a bottle earlier in the morning but he could never get comfortable. We called the pediatrician exchange line and they told us to continue with the Tylenol and to call back if he stopped having wet diapers. Jeff and I took turns passing him back and forth, hoping that one of us would have the magic touch. I cradled him in my arms all morning with a cool washcloth on his head, wishing it would provide some relief. By noon we both knew that something we was wrong. Jeff called the exchange line again and they told us to go to a pediatric urgent care.

At the urgent care, they looked in his ears for infection and swabbed him for H1N1. Negative and negative. The nurse practitioner could tell we were exhausted but told it was probably something viral and to set an appointment with Dr. Z, our pediatrician, in the morning. As we were getting our parting instructions, we decided to change his diaper. I laughed when I saw Cal start to pee right as Jeff opened his diaper and apologized to the nurse practitioner for messing up the examination table. She didn't seem to hear me but was watching Cal urinate on her table. She looked at us and asked "Does he always pee like that"? Jeff and I were completely confused, not sure how to answer - "Yes, it pretty much looks like that when he pees". Seemed like a stupid question at the time. I was at the end of my rope and wanted to go home, not talk about my son's potty habits. She told us to wait, she wanted to do one more test. She thought it was weird that he when he did his business, it kind of just dribbled out and didn't shoot up in the air like most little boys. Whatever. All we had was time, no sleep and a sick baby that was getting close to bottle time. Sure lady. Do another test. The NP came back into the room with another nurse and catheter bag. She told us to hold him tight and proceeded to insert the catheter to get a urine sample. Cal was none too pleased. They hustled out of the room only to rush back in minutes later to tell us he had a UTI. The NP almost seemed breathless with her discovery and said that they had already checked with our insurance. We had our choice to go to Children's ER or St John's Pediatric ER. We decided on St John's since Uncle JP had some pull there and could probably get us in and out without much fuss.....

So off we went. Cal had calmed a bit after a dose of Motrin at Urgent Care. We were met by the most wonderful ER doctor, Dr. A, who told us that she was instructed to give us "VIP treatment". This day was finally looking up and Jeff and I could almost see nap time in our future. We went through the same round of questions that we had answered before and would answer over and over the next 11 days - "Does Calvin have any allergies? Has he had any surgeries? Are his vaccinations up to date?" On and on and on....

The ER wanted to start an IV to hydrate him in order to get another urine sample so the poking began. They tried 3 times before successfully placing the IV in his hand. Then out came another catheter test only to not be able to catch urine...another H1N1 swap up the nose....another catheter test a half hour later...a needle stick to draw blood samples. As soon as we would calm Cal, out came the needles again. Jeff needed a break so he left for a bit around 7pm and Cal was nearly asleep. I sat in the ER room and rocked my poor, sick baby. He actually seemed a little peaceful at this point. Then his eyes popped open and he started to shake. His hair stood on end and he stared out into space. He sucked on his bottom lip, the bright red being the only color in his face. I started to panic, believing he was having a seizure. At that moment, the doctor walked in and said they were going to do a spinal tap because they believed he may have meningitis due to his super high white blood cell count. She could see the panic in my eyes and told me he wasn't seizing but that his fever was spiking rapidly, causing the strange reaction. The nurses and doctor took him from me and laid him on the table on his side, in a position that looked like a side crunch. Cal's whole body turned red as he screamed. Due to the urgency of the situation, they did not have time to numb him before the needle went into his spine. The doctor handed me a box of tissues before I even realized that I was crying for the first time that day. They took his spinal fluid and she talked as she drew it, telling me that it looked very clear, not cloudy like it would if bacteria had set in. If it was meningitis, it was in the early stages. Immediately after that ended, Jeff entered the room. He could tell I was a mess. I was so thankful that he didn't have to see what just happened. Cal was calm at this point as we talked to the doctor about being admitted. By 9:30pm, we finally made it to our hospital room, or to what would be our new home for the next 10 days.

To be continued....

New year, new us

I'm a blog slacker. Again. I have a legit excuse this time but the story is far too long to tell right now. In a nutshell, Bubs got incredibly sick on Dec 12th and put the fear of God in us. Our perspective on parenthood has changed forever. As if we weren't thankful for him before, we truly believe he is our miracle now. But more about that ordeal later. I started blogging about the story last week and still need to finish it up.

As for our holidays, we were so happy to spend them at home since we were told originally that we wouldn't be out of the hospital at that point. Christmas Eve night we were home and we woke Christmas Day to the first snow of the season. It was perfect and magical. Sounds silly but it felt like we had finally woke up from a nightmare. Jeff's family came over late afternoon for presents and dinner and then my family arrived from Springfield around 7 that night. It was so relaxing and cozy to just stay put.

New Years Eve was also pretty uneventful. The night before (New Years Eve Eve I guess), we had Mike, Beth and Garrett over for veal spedini and lots of red wine. We needed a few drinks. Jeff had a few too many and had to head to bed early while Mike, Beth and I stayed up and talked. We are so fortunate to have friends like them. New Years Eve was Mizzou game day. We put Cal in his new Mizzou outfit that the Brights got him and headed over to the Davis'. I'm so happy that most of our friends have children now because I really can't imagine leaving Cal anywhere at this point except with our parents. We had to cut out early though because it was treatment time at 7pm. Jeff and I were both in bed by 10:30. Glorious.

New Years Day was the annual Puerto Rican New Years party at the Hoevels. Yes, there was genuine Puerto Rican representation from dear Maria. But, no, this is not a real holiday. Totally made up and just another excuse to get together. The treatment traveled with us this time so we wouldn't have to leave so early but we did cut out right about the time the kidless folks started to show up.

Overall, it was nice. We still got to eat lots of food and spend time with most of the people we loved. I was sad not to spend Cal's first Christmas Eve in Springfield with Grandma since that is what I've done for the last 30 years. Grandma and I talked about it and she was sad too but cared most that Cal was getting well.

So 2009 was a mixed bag of blessings and heartbreak. Jeff and I both hit our 30s, became parents and realigned our priorities. Aunt Kay got sick but then she got well. We are as close to our families and each other as we have ever been. I'd say we are pretty lucky.

6 month professional pics at home

  

Mimi and Papa

Grandma & Grandpa and Aunt Lisa